The Shabbas Gourd

(Continued from this post)

This "cord" thing is really not letting go. I was adjusting something in one of my testimony posts on the bluebird blog, and noticed that about a week and a half ago I had linked this post to the one here mentioned that had the "accidental" use of cord for chord (in comments), as explored in last post. And the thing was, I then noticed something else as well--both posts (the second one in the comments part of it) directly talk of how He is the vine, we are the branches. Another "coincidence" to add to the treasure box

The other thing that has been happening lately is a few days ago I finally read Jonah (I had been promted to by that whale dream earlier). And there are two parts there. One, the stay in the whale, which will be explored on the bluebird blog soon. But the second part, the whole gourd incident, is for here, gourd even rhymes with cord.

The gourd cord thing came up last weekend, though i didnt call it that then. As I was coming home from a walk on Sunday my neighbor invited me into his garden and gave me one of his sqaushes (same family). I was rather in awe seeing it there, it had such a strong solid cord linking to the earth, almost like an umbilical cord. And there was something really healing about later eating that squash. It was a very soft summer squash which tasted a bit like cucumber and I ate it raw, didnt have the heart to cook it, I was cherishing its alive feeling so much.

So then when I was reading Jonah, this all took time to register. At first the whole gourd thing there made no sense at all. I let it go and instead followed this prompting inside to check out some Ninevah images. I was shocked. The first image that came up had the energy of my father there, and I am an incest survivor. And it hit me then, Jonah's anger. God had forgiven those who harmed him. The folks in Ninevah were I'm guessing no friend to the Hebrews, they had probably fought. And rather than God being heroic there in a fight for you sort of way for the Hebrew people, he instead forgave their enemies after the enemies turned around. And I could understand now Jonah's hurt and anger. Its not the least bit healing to me when someone says they have forgiven someone who has harmed me deeply, its like pouring salt on a wound.

Of course God turning the enemy's heart around is also a healing thing for the one harmed in the end, but I wasnt ready to see that while I was looking at the Nineva image reminding me of my father, just like Jonah wasnt seeing it either. And then God shriveled the gourd and its protecting leaves. And Jonah "got it" finally, through what happened there. But I didnt. Until tonight, a little glimmer at least...

To back up about this whole cord thing from the last post, it is part of this circle thing from the aborigines for me. And what I hadnt mentioned in the last post is that forgiveness is one way to heal the jagged broken circle. It is best to directly resolve and heal things with the person, but if this cannot be done they said the thing to do then is forgive, and then at least you are not carrying jaggedness any more. And to go back to this gourd thing, its hitting me. The gourd shriveld and that hurt Jonah because he was no longer protected by the sun by its leaves. God had "turned for a moment" for him and bad things had happened and now he was feeling terrible and out of sorts and not himself.

And I think it hit finally Jonah that that had happened to Ninevah too. We can lose our protective gourds, feel a distance from that healing cord to our source, and get miserable and off and all out of sorts and off center. I'm not excusing harmful behavior, but sometimes this is what causes it. And seeing that, it is so much easier to forgive. They lost their gourd for a while, they were unprotected from the sun and pulled away from their deeper heart, and in the process they hurt you. It is so much easier to have compassion when seeing things this way. They just lost their gourd and felt lost from the cord, just like you have done before. Suddenly you see them with new eyes. And you forgive.

This all hit me especially hard tonight becasue Fridays are my "forgiveness day". I've made a commitment to, each Friday before shabbat, forgive all I can. And now there is an image to help make that easier. The shabbas gourd, the longing for the cord. Because He IS the vine and we are but the branches. Branches mess up. And they can do nothing alone. They must have the cord. And when that cord feels far from them they fall apart, they are off their center, longing for healing. And that deserves our reaching out to heal. One branch can help heal another. We are all just branches, just children, in this thing together, all corded to the vine. We are called to help heal one another, and carry one another's burdens. Even if that healing simply starts with our forgiveness...

(Image is of a squash tendril, so like that image of the thin gold cord from last post. By Richard Wanderman, from here)